I don't know

I have been racking my brain to find something funny to talk about. I felt I needed something lighthearted to show. I can't find anything. I am not depressed or anything, but I just am not finding anything humerous in life these days. My kids do their normal funny things and I do giggle then, but it doesn't seem noteworthy enough to sit down and write about.

The one thing that keeps infultrating my mind is my aunt. She is barely over 40 and she is dying. We are trying to keep a positive outlook, but the odds seemed stacked against us. She has cancer. She has cancer of the throat, lungs and liver. The tumor, also known as the mothership, is located in her throat and is inoperable. For that area they are using radiation. For her lungs and liver, they are using Chemo. But, she has now had bad allergic reactions to the chemo. They aren't sure they can keep treating it with the chemo. What happens then? No one seems to be giving a good answer. Meanwhile she is in pain. She is being taken care of my my grandma and my uncle. Both of whom have medical conditions of their own. This situation keeps going from bad to worse. I live only a few hours away from her and I would love to help, but I have many kids. These many kids, besides the fact I am with them alone 3/4 of the week, brings home many germs. I can't come near my aunt because of these germs. I can't even visit with my grandma or uncle for fear that I could transfer some germs and they could carry them to her. I feel so helpless. My aunt is really trying to put up a brave front, but has confided in me that she would really like to give up. How do you talk someone into trying harder? Seriously, with all she is going thru now, if it were me, would I want to give up too?

I am trying to have faith that this was caught early enough. I am trying to have faith that
she will be alright. She has a son who is around my kids age, I couldn't imagine him growing
up without her. I couldn't imagine this family without her. She is the comic relief, she is the confidant, she is the mediator, she is the life of the party and she is the drama mama.
Since she is all those things, the family can not lose her. So, we hold on to faith that
this cancer will go into remission, I just hope it doesn't destroy her in the process.