Helpful...... or nosey???

I have waited a couple of days to write about this because this subject is really unnerving me. My mother in law has taken out a life insurance policy on my husband, a large one. He had her husband tell my husband (his stepfather) that it is because we want "Missi taken care of in the event...".

Ok, on the surface this can look like a nice gesture. However, my mother in law and I HATE each other. This woman has threatened to kill me. Yes, really. She goes out of her way to make my life miserable. She plays favorites with my children and deliberately goes behind my back to undermine me. Ok, the death threat came a few years ago. Since then, we have not "patched" our relationship. I am civil to her, but I also avoid her at all costs. OK, she lives next door (country next door, you know, I can see her house, but I wouldn't walk there). She is only here every other month and we get together maybe once in that month. I have alot of resentment still against her and I can't quite get over it.

Now, in this situation, would you look at this as a gift? Because here is how I have taken it. First, I am not the beneficiary, she is. That right there puts me off. It is not that I want this money, it is that she could have control over my life in the event of. I am not a fan of anyone's control over me, much less a person I dont' like. And the statement "we want Missi taken care of" really gets me. She doesn't like me, why should she want to take care of me? It would be good if it were in trust for the kids, but there goes another problem. She favor's ONE child out of the 5. If it were up to her, he is the only one she would see. We force her to "try" and show that she is the grandparent of all of them. So my fear, "in the event of", there would be great discrimination amongst my children. Also, I have the fear that "in the event of" she will use the money to fight me for custody of the one child. He is not my birth child, so she feels she is the "mother" figure to him, regardless of my role here. She initiated taking him away from his birth mother, why wouldn't she do the same to me?

So, this is the situation. I am upset. Should I be? I don't know. I have tried looking at it from both sides, but my resentments and my fears are overpowering. I am a very cynical person by nature (well, more so because I was turned this way by life) so I could be blowing this out of porportion.

The only other question I have is, Hubby's stepfather has 2 other grown children. Did they put life insurance on them so that their wives could be "taken care of?" The answer is no. The reason?... Your guess is as good as mine.

Oh, I should also mention that we already have life insurance set up. We took care of this a few years ago and she is well aware of the fact that we already have life insurance.