Moms HELP- SOS
SOS- Save our Son!! Oh, I am in desperate need of some guidance. Last night my 11 yr old, Logan, decided to throw the mother of all fits. It was just after 11pm and I went to tell him it was time for bed. He threw a fit. I told him sternly to stay in bed. A few minutes later he was at our door, and Ray then said to go to bed. Logan went BALLSITIC. He started screaming at the top of his lungs in a growl, he started hitting and pinching himself. He was uncontrollable. The more we tried to reason with him, the worse he got until I felt there was nothing left to do but take something away. I decided the thing near and dear to him at the moment was his TIVO card. He fought me the whole time I was trying to get it out. I had to keep pushing him off of me. Then after I was successful with the card and was trying to tell him he wouldn't get it back until he calmed down, he got worse. I closed his door, he kicked the door thru and broke the door frame. Then he said he was going to run away and was trying to get the screen out of his window. I kept telling him to stop and closing the window but as soon as I would move away from it, he would be doing it again because "he would rather run away than be here with me because he hates me forever". OMG. I didn't know what else to do. Finally after about 40 minutes of this I got him into the living room where Ray was trying to talk to him. Ray's solution, fine, walk out the door. Logan in underwear and no shoes, says "fine" and walks out. Ray follows him. I just sat there crying. I am scared out of my mind. I feel helpless. Ray did get him to come back in after about 20 minutes and he did apologize, but I am still fearful. Why throw this kind of fit? He has come close to this kind of fit before, but it never went this far. I dont' know what to do. I don't know if it is the age or if it might be the beginning signs of bipolar. I am terrified.
Please, Please, Please, anyone with advise please help.
posted by Missi @ 6:51 AM
5 Comments:
Professional help is all that I can recommend. Something is going on in that mind of his and it's such a tricky situation that I wouldn't want to handle it alone.
Wow it is scary - especially when you are worried about potential mental health problems. However, don't panic yet.
Love him up - especially now, after the fact - don't hardly mention the incident - only to acknowledge it, offer to be there...but let it go. It may have been related to fatigue and hormones...he is entering the pubescent/adolescent world and probably feels more adult and capable than he really is. Still, you can foster that feeling of growing up by allowing him more control in his life (where possible - look for collaboration and compromise opportunities, less dictator attitude). I believe the best place to start is with a huge dose of love and then assure him you do respect him. Your job is to raise a nice and decent person - let him know you are on his side. Don't get me wrong, you are still the parent - but treat this as one tiny sign of his maturation (although it doesn't look very mature...in fact you can point that out). Have confidence things will work out...expect the best, you already are considering the worst (so that part about preparing for the worst is done).
Anyway, that is my thought - good luck to you - things will work out.
OMG Missi, how scary and heart-wrenching. I'm afraid I don't have any great advice, but professional help did come to mind -- it sounds like he may need someone to talk to, and you could certainly use some support in this as well. Keep us posted, and know that you're in my thoughts! *hugs*
ouch, preteen is a tough one. Be firm, continue to take the things he wants to do away. What my mom did with us was have us write family rules. If she approved them, then we would have to follow them. If we did well for a set amout of time we got extra video/tv time etc.
aww missi... My Hannah 11 did the same thing several months ago. My husband went and got her the first time when she took off down the street. She threw an absolute ape shit fit for hours. It was horrible to go through.
Im sorry to say she did it again when it was just me and the baby home. I didnt go after her. She left for about 15 minutes, walked down our hill and stood around. After she cooled off she came back home. She hasnt done it sense. All she said was," you didnt come get me?" I said nope, I didnt feel it was necessary however if you didnt come home you would of ridden in a police car. She hasnt done it since.
Good luck. It will get better.
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