Update, Er visit and "Just Friends"??

Ok, seriously, usually there is NOT this much drama at my house.

I saw my aunt the other day. She is back at home, and a huge THANK YOU for all the prayers and positive thoughts for us. She is not going into remission or anything, but she was able to hold a conversation. I was able to understand her. That was huge. She is mostly lucid. She did have some hallucinations, but overall the visit went well. The prognosis is still the same, few days to a few weeks, but if she can be more like this, her quality of life would be better toward the end.

After the visit yesterday, my oldest decided he needed an ER visit. He was jumping with a friend and the friend fell on his arm. His left arm. His throwing arm. Well, to be sure it wasn't fractured or anything we spent HOURS in the worst ER ever. Seriously people, we were number 2 to be seen. And it took almost 2 hours before we were. Thankfully he wasn't, say, BLEEDING FROM THE HEAD or anything. So, prognosis is a sprained wrist. He is in a splint for a few days. Whew!

Ok, here is the drama today. I was nosey, I admit it. I have had a nagging feeling and I couldn't shake it. So I became a snoop. I wish I hadn't. I found very disturbing emails between my husband and a "friend". (girl). Now, this is the same "friend" that I had a problem with in January and he said he wouldn't talk to her anymore. I guess the operative word is TALK. Apparently email isn't talking. There were erotic emails. VERY erotic emails. What was more disturbing was the "I love YOU", "Missing you Always", "You are always in my heart".
Now, don't get me wrong, the emails detailing what sex acts they would like to perform on each other were VERY disturbing. But "I love YOU". I thought that was suppose to be reserved for your spouse. (btw, she is married too) And he says they are "JUST FRIENDS" Now, they have not had a physical relationship RECENTLY. I say this because, apparently, once upon a time they did. (before me). HE lied about that. In January he said they were never in a "relationship", I didn't specifically ask if they had SEX. Silly me. And apparently these emails were not "talking", so it should have been ok. UM NO. I am hurt, I am angry, I am so full of emotion, I am shaking. I confronted him (on the phone, he is out of town), he didn't deny it. First it was "we have always just talked that way, didn't see that it was wrong". UM, WHAT???? So explaining how you would "bend them over and rock them hard" is ok? (this was a TAME reference btw) Ok, maybe when you were single it was ok to carry on like this, but you are married now, and have been for a few years. These emails are RECENT. He has apologized. He is upset that I, found out or that he really hurt me, I am not sure. He says he wants me, not her. I emailed her too. Told her she needs to leave my husband alone and I bet her husband wouldn't be too much of a fan if he found out what she was saying to my husband. She apologized too, but I don't know.

Ok, sorry only goes so far, and I am having a HARD time reconsiling all this. Am I overreacting? They were just emails, there were no physical meetings as far as I know. But wouldn't the personal nature of the emails still imply INTENT. And shouldn't those things be sacred in a marriage? Even with "friends", I have NEVER talked that way. I wouldn't dream of talking that way. It would be one thing if this "friendship" was, oh hi, how are you doing... blah blah blah. No problem there, but talking about sexual positions they would like, toys they would like to use, and the "I love you's". Seriously, does he think I am STUPID???? Don't insult me and say
you are "just friends who always talked this way".

I am not perfect by any means. I have screwed up my past marriages. But, again, am I overreacting because it was only phone or email driven? Would you still consider it cheating? Would you still feel betrayed? I know I do, and it hurts so much. I can't seem to find a way, right now, to forgive and forget. I am seriously hurt.

Seriously.

Hurt.