Happy Birthday Princess!

*Well, stupid blogger won't let me post a picture!*

Today is a bitter sweet day. My oldest princess has turned 9!
Oh, it seems like just yesterday I was bringing her home
from the hospital. How has 9 years passed? I love that she
is growing into a pretty, sweet girl, but I miss the baby
I use to hold in my arms and rock to sleep. She loved to cuddle
next to me at night and just sleep the night away. But now,
she comes home talking about boys and clothes and music. I adore
the young woman she is becoming. Princess, Happy Birthday. I love
you!

IEP hell

So, my youngest son is in IEP. A special program that is suppose
to help him thru school. He has issues understanding abstract
concepts and he has issues with his speech. He doesn't know
how to articulate very well.

He went thru preschool last year with flying colors! The special
ed teacher said he was ready for mainstream with a slight difference.
He would attend speech 2 times a week and have a counselor observe
him 2 times a month.

Well, he is having issues adjusting to Kindergarten. He has behavioral
issues. I have tried calling an IEP meeting and it was canceled today. I
talked with the counselor (who btw, it took the school 3 days of phone calls
to figure out WHO was in charge of his counseling) who said she has not
even observed him this year. WHAT?? Why not? If he is suppose to be
receiving extra help, why is he not? He is attending the speech class,
which btw, the counselor didn't even know if he was. It seems to me
that the school is letting him slip thru the cracks. I can't have that.

So, what do I do? The counselor said that the "county" has restricted them
from pulling kids out of mainstream class to help them with individual issues.
EVEN if it is deemed that they need it. How much do I push? I know his
Kindergarten teacher has too many kids to deal with to give Kaleb the
individual care he needs. I understand that. However, I do not understand
the school's stance on not offering the special classes (other than speech) to
help him adjust to the school setting. What is going to happen by the
end of the year when he will NOT be ready for 1st grade. Is he doomed
to repeat Kindergarten again. He is not slow enough to have to be taken
out of mainstream, but he isn't quick enough with learning to advance
as quickly as his peers. He is stuck in the middle and I am afraid he
will get missed.

Hot topic

Oprah had guests who suffer from Bipolar Disorder. I was very excited to see that she was doing a show on this seriously misunderstood topic. Then I watched the show.
I wasn't completely disappointed, but I wish she had brought more "real" people to the show to share their stories. Movie/Tv stars are great for getting the word out that even the "famous" ones can suffer, but she also had a mother who killed her child. What does that say now about us? She used the word "crazy" to describe actions made by people with bipolar. I do take some offense to that. If I could choose to not have this illness, I would. I don't want to be seen as crazy. I have a hard enough time convincing myself that I am not crazy. I concede that all my thoughts and actions are not rational, but does that make me "crazy"? I am glad she is trying to bring some light to this subject, but in future shows (she is having Sinead O'Connor talk about bipolar in an upcoming episode) she can give more information and more hope.

Now, unlike the mother who killed her child, I have never thought of
physically injuring someone. However, I have tried to harm myself many
times. Even with that, it leaves a lasting effect on those around you.
This disorder is so hard to fight because it resides in your brain. Your
brain that is suppose to be what tells you right from wrong and what guides
you safely thru life. Having Bipolar distorts those thoughts. What the "normal"
people may think are irrational thoughts can be perceived as very rational
thoughts in our minds. This is what makes it so hard to fight. Your brain is
lying to you. How can you make other's possibly see that? You can't. This is
also what makes fighting this illness so hard. They just feel you are being
out of control and irrational, and they are most likely right, but in our
heads, it is completely justified and rational. It is like having tunnel vision
that only you can see. I just wish one day that the stigma of a "mental illness"
will be lifted so that we can seek the correct help without judgment. So that
we can live amongst society that understands that it isn't our fault, it is just
something we struggle to survive. We should not be made to feel ashamed that
we have this illness. If I were to have diabetes, I wouldn't feel ashamed and I would
have a society ready to help me in the fight. Why can't Bipolar be the same???

Here is the link to her website showing today's show:

http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200709/tows_past_20070924.jhtml

**edited- Hi Natalie, thank you so much for posting. I completely agree
with you. I actually did post on the message board about it. I couldn't
help myself. Your comment didn't leave a link to your blog, please email
me so that I can view what you wrote too. I would love to see your
input. Thanks! Missi **

Sunday Driving Sing Along

I have found the best stress reliever is singing. I do not, however, sing in the shower. Ever. I sing in the van. Loud music, top of my lungs sing. Not only do I sing, I dance. The whole top half of my body is grooving to the beat. Makes me wonder what the other people on the road must be thinking when they see me moving and grooving and singing in my car. Am I the next American Idol or am I a looney.....

This is what my dear driver by audience had a listen to today... ENJOY!