Mute?

So, now my precious angel, Becca, is now 18 months old. She does not speak. I thought by now she would start talking. Kaity, my older angel, refused to speak at a young age, but she COULD speak. She just chose not to. She had words, I heard them...occasionally. Now, Becca, understands when you speak to her. She understands commands. She can hear. So, why doesn't she speak? She barely says mama and usually it is when she is crying. The only other intelligable word is "that" and that is barely clear. Everything is "that". She points, grunts and cry's. At what point do I become scared? I am there. Should I be? I have always been one to say "don't worry, kids do things at different times" but I see other 18 month olds and remember my older kids then and they were gabbing away. She doesn't seem to be behind in any other manner. Am I over paranoid because Kaleb is a touch slow and needs help with is communication? He has always been able to talk, but has trouble understanding.

So, if you were me, what would you do? Start process to have her tested and maybe go into speech therapy? Or is it too soon to worry?

Thursday Thirteen #13

Thank you DENISE for this great TT banner!

Thirteen of my favorite foods!

1) Cannaloni - from Olive Garden. Oh, I rarely ever get this, but I LOVE it.

2) Mushroom Swiss burger- I am not a huge burger lover, but I adore Dary Queen's mushroom swiss burger.

3) Chili- I am a southern girl and LOVE my 7 alarm chili. Too bad a few of my kids aren't fans.

4) Chicken and Broccoli - this is a Chinese food I adore!

5) Pancho's- Ok, this is a mexican resturant in Texas that I use to frequent regularly. I WISH they had it here. I adored nearly everything there so it wouldn't be fair to just pick one.

6) Chicken and Rice- homemade chicken and rice always hits the spot!

7) Salad - very trite, I know. But I do love a good salad. Preferably with chicken and with a balsamic vinegarette dressing.

8) Chicken Pesto Pizza- From Schlotsky's. OHH, I also don't get this very often but I adore it when I can.

9) Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches - weird, I know. But I love peanut butter.

10) Peanut butter on waffles with syrup and bananas- Don't question, just try it!!

11) Beef stroganoff- NOT hamburger helper. This would be my grandma's dish made with real beef steak and sour cream. YUM.

12) Shephards pie- mixture of beef, veggies, tomato sauce topped with mashed potato's. This is (mostly) a family fav!

13) Ok, you knew it was coming...... CHOCOLATE. Anything chocolate really. Mint chocolate, chocoate ice cream, cakes candy......

Where am I?

Last night it occured to me that I am lost. I have lost me. Since becoming a wife and a mother I have put everyone's elses needs first. I forget to eat, I rarely get to take a bath and I lose sleep. I am waking up each day with the thought "Ok, how can I get to the end of this day." I know I use to take care of myself. I can't remember what I did or exactly when it was, but I have the strong feeling I use to do it. I know I didn't always wake up with the feeling of being gone. So, now that I realize I am lost, how do I find me? All my energy is still bound in raising my kids. Even what is now my job of being a wife and a mother is starting to dwindle. I use to cook. I use to keep a perfectly clean house. I use to have energy to tackle every question my kids threw at me. Now, again, I am going thru the motions just to get thru the day. I don't cook as much as I use to and certainly without the variety I use to. I can't even remember now what I use to enjoy cooking. My house is a tornado alley. I know I have 5 kids so it is an impossible dream that my house be immaculate always, but I would prefer it to not look so cluttered or like a tornado has passed thru it.

So, I am lost. Where am I and how do I get myself back? I guess that is the big question. Surely I am here somewhere underneath the shell of a woman I was. I am not being hard on myself really, I just really want to find me again. So, what steps are needed to find me? I am not sure. I intend to find out though. I know I am here somewhere.

Oh

Ok, so I have totally been avoiding my blog. It isn't my fault.... really. I have had the stomache flu. I tell you there is nothing worse than that. I was delusioned to think that it was the 24 hour kind. Nuh uh not mine. Somebody brought me one that takes FOREVER to get over. First you feel bad. Worn out. Stomache is cramping (you are feeling my pain aren't you?). Then it gets a little better and you think, well, that wasn't so bad. You wake up the next day and you are heaving your guts OUT. 9 hours later you stop and just feel plain rotten. Ok, so now you think it is over. WRONG. You wake up the next day again and you heave worse than the day before. Oh, just kill me now. I stayed in bed all day that day. Thankfully hubby was home that day or my kids would have been able to run all over me! So, today, I feel a little better. I am back among the living atleast. I still can't eat but I am atleast walking around.

Tell me, what superbug is out there that loves me so much to linger in my body? I am not that loveable..... really. I should be a terrible host for this bug. BUG BE GONE. I just hope the kids don't get this. I can see this bug making full circles in this house. Lysol, you are my best friend right now. KILL THE BUG!!

Thursday Thirteen #12

Thank you Denise for this great TT banner!
Thirteen Reasons I need Calgon to take me away!

1. Money - I hate living paycheck to paycheck and with another birthday and Christmas coming up, this is extremely stressful. I honosly don't know where my money is going. Well other than
trying to feed 5 kids each day!

2. Logan- For the constant arguing. Everything is an arguement now. If I said the sky was blue he would argue with me that it wasn't.

3. Tyler - For the 6 am talks. I just can not talk that early in the am and boy can he talk!

4. Kaity - For her endless questions. She is becoming smarter than me and I just don't know how to answer her anymore.

5. Kaleb- For his agression to his sister. He plays so rough.

6. Becca- For wanting to be held 24/7. I love to hold her, but man my arms can only handle so much!

7. Hubby- For is constant "ideas" and never following thru with them.

8. In laws- MIL just left from her month long stay and will be back in another month.

9. Van- Don't ya just love van problems? Mine likes to short out.

10. House- The constant mess that is always around my house. I have lost the energy to try to keep up with it.

11.Weight- Constant battle and I am LOSING. (not in the good way, I mean I am gaining instead of losing weight)

12. Sex- I don't want it anymore. (Very personal I know) I feel bad for the hubby but I just can't do it now.

13. Energy - I just don't have any energy anymore.

Need Motivation

Ok, so I have been saying I am dieting for about a million years now. It is not working. I do good for about a week and then I slack for a long period of time. My brainstorms on what I am going to do to lose weight come when I am trying to go to sleep. I have tons of motivation and resolve at midnight, but then 6 am rolls around and I am mush again. I eat everything in site and I feel terrible about it. I say I feel terrible, and I do, but apparently not terrible enough to stick the "plan" I had the night before.

I am at a loss and not sure what to do. Losing weight when I was younger was so easy. So, I am not able to lose this weight because a) my age (yes 33 is apparently old now) b)I have 5 kids that want to eat out alot c) I have no willpower d) all the above.
I would have to say D. I know I work from home and I try not to buy crappy foods, but even that doesn't seem to work. I can't get off my dead ass because I blame the pain in my feet and heels. (I have had heel pain for about a month now and not sure why).

So, anyone have any words of wisdom? Anthing that can get me motivated? What is your motivation? I would love to know because I am about to resolve to diet pills like
Trimspa to help me. If Anna Nicole could lose the weight, maybe I can too!

HELP!!